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| I think I walk into these things wide eyed.. I dont know if I am just stupid or if I have my head in the clouds. I have a secret when I first meet guys I tell them I don't believe in love! Saves me from alot of problems. The only person (boy) that I said this too was my ex. He said it after two weeks so I said it back. But in the end it snuck up on me and I may have loved him. Or I just depended on him for the something I want. I want a person to be in my life as my sig. other! I am willing to play pretend to get it as well. But here is the kicker. I just might believe in love... or if it is not love it is something that hurts like it. But the way to protect yourself would be find a boy who is easy to love and stay with. Instead I pick the most difficult boy with the most problems and the easiest way to get stompped on. Perfect right? | | |
| In life we watch people putting them into different areas. The people you like the people you dont like the people you want to be like and the people you try to not be like. I have started to feel like I became one of the people I never wanted to be like. I feel as if I try to surround myself with people I want to be like. And becuase they are how I want to be I enjoy them and the things they say and do. But I started to have the sneaky feeling that they are not as happy when I am around! I think I may have become a person I do not want to be and do not want to be around. Now do I change or go on not caring and try to become comfortable with myself or do I try to improve. The questions of life circle my head like birds. And all the while I feel lonely! Jess | | |
| So if anyone is wondering I deleted my Facebook because of a game we are playing this week in greek games... I will be back on in a week. Try not to miss me too much!
Jess
P.S. Listen to the song, go onto Yahoo Music and look for the music video... I hated it the first time I heard it but if you listen again you will learn to love it.
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| I have seen and found what a true friend is! I have have been, as you all know, having a hard time with my recent breakup and my emotional levels have been crazy. So here is the story. I was standing in my room talking to my great friend and started crying and trying to explain all these hurts that have seemed to infest themselves into my body. Now some people cannot but help cry with others which is fine. BUT I have never had someone feel the hurt I do and start to cry for the same reasons I do. It is hard to explain but while my hurts felt like something I could only carry and made it much more difficult. I watched my friend accept my hurts, open her heart, and choose to feel what I have been feeling. The devastation was written across her face and body. Willingly chose to suffer for me. I have never been so touched and I have never loved another this much (well besides my mother). I am now bonded to this person and connected to them as I could never hope to be to another. I am forever in your debt and will always love you! Thank you for things I cannot even express into words. Just know I feel privileged to know you and even more proud to call you my friend. I have never found someone who can truly understand what I am going through and more importantly, me. Jess | | |
| Posting is going to be hard for some time. I know that I said I would try and post more but right now and in the next weeks I am hurting and I don't want to really talk about thing and my life. But I am going home tomorrow and that should help me. I cannot wait to see my mom, abi and danica! oh the happiness.
My last thought is when you are dating you only wish you could still be out there dating and when you are single all you wish is that you are in a good relationship!
ahh life
Jess
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